Have you ever experienced something from your past that hurt you so deeply that you still struggle to let go of it?
Well, you’re not alone—I’ve been there too, and many others have as well.
One experience with a supposed friend still stands out clearly in my mind. It’s an experience that inspired a major event in my book, Her Treasured Love, which was released in March of this year.
It all started when I was on my way to spend some time at the Latin dance club where I used to go after work to unwind. That’s where I met him. We quickly connected and talked about life, family, and faith. The conversation flowed so naturally. During that time, I shared with him that I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex—especially after all the heartache I’d experienced in the past. He seemed to understand.
After that night, we spoke a few more times, and he invited me to Reggae Sunfest, an annual event in Jamaica showcasing some of our most talented reggae artists. I had never attended one of these shows before, so I was excited and accepted the invitation.
However, I had no idea the show would start so late. We traveled from Kingston to Montego Bay—a journey of about 2-3 hours, depending on where you’re coming from. By the time we arrived, it was around midnight. I thought the venue would be packed, but surprisingly, it was only half full, and only a few artists had performed.
The atmosphere was electric. People from different parts of the world, great performances—everything was exciting. I was having a blast, and my friend was a perfect gentleman. At one point, we shared a kiss, but it wasn’t anything serious. In my mind, I thought, What’s wrong with kissing someone you like, especially if he knows where I stand on relationships and boundaries?
But then, around 2 a.m., just when the show seemed to be reaching its peak, a thunderstorm came out of nowhere. It poured heavily, and I mean really heavily. Picture trying to find a car in the dark with everyone scrambling to get to theirs. By the time we found ours, we were both drenched.
Inside the car, things were uncomfortable as we tried to sleep in wet clothes and on hard seats, waiting until daybreak to begin our journey home. By morning, we were dry, but I was completely exhausted. Even a late breakfast didn’t seem to lift my fatigue. I felt like my body was still in sleep mode.
When we got back on the road, I was relieved when he mentioned stopping at a motel for a couple of hours, thinking we could rest.
However, what happened next was a huge shock. By the time we entered the motel room, I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. Little did I know, he had other intentions. Despite knowing where I stood on relationships, he took advantage of the situation in a way I never expected.
I’ll spare you the details, but I’ll never forget how angry I felt at myself for trusting him, thinking he would respect my boundaries. I even allowed him to take me home after that encounter, not knowing how to process what had just happened.
It wasn’t until later that I messaged him to share how hurt I was, but that was the last I ever heard from him.
I lived with that experience for nearly seven years, blaming myself and wondering if I had caused it by sharing that innocent kiss.
Why Is It So Hard to Let Go of the Past?
Like me, you may have asked yourself this question at some point in your life: Why is it so hard to let go of the past?
For a long time, I blamed myself for what happened. In doing so, I carried feelings of shame and guilt. The truth is, I only shared this experience with one person, and it wasn’t until years later that he helped me process it and stop beating myself up.
In that moment, it felt as though the Holy Spirit planted an idea in me—an idea to make this experience a part of the main character’s journey in my book. The character would struggle with trusting the true intentions of men after experiencing something similar.
It’s amazing how, while writing the book, the Holy Spirit brought scriptures to mind, to include in the story, to bring healing to the character. In the process, I found healing as well.
So many times, we see ourselves as filthy or not good enough. We can block our own blessings by thinking we don’t deserve to be forgiven. It’s hard to forgive ourselves when we feel responsible for the situations that caused us pain. But even if we put ourselves in situations that led to our afflictions, the fact that we didn’t agree to whatever happened should not make us feel defeated.
The first step to overcoming this is embracing God’s grace and mercy—remembering that He loves us enough to feel our infirmities.
Hebrews 4:14-16 says:
“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Once you accept God’s grace, then forgive yourself.
Take your eyes off the pain and keep them fixed on Christ—the One who died for us to take away our hurt. One of the ways we become defeated in this process is when the devil uses our pain and torments us with negative thoughts to keep us oppressed. Remember, the battle starts and ends in the mind.
If we stay rooted in the Word of God, like Peter who kept his eyes on Jesus in the middle of the storm, we won’t sink into the seas of despair.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 says:
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”
Here’s a prayer you can use to rebuke every thought the devil wants to use to keep you trapped in your mind.
In the name of Jesus, I take divine authority over my mind. As the Word of God reveals in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, my warfare is not carnal, but against strongholds waging war in my mind. I pull down every stronghold in my mind now, in the name of Jesus. I cast down every evil imagination and every high thing that satanic messengers have exalted in my mind against the knowledge of Christ Jesus. Every evil thought that says: "I will never be good enough," or "I will never rise above my situation and fulfill my destiny or purpose," or "I am worthless" (you can change or add whatever words you often hear), I render you powerless. I overthrow your words and declare that your evil report shall not stand against me. I bring every evil word spoken against my life now into captivity to the obedience of Christ, in Jesus' name.
That is how I took back my life—by trusting God and clinging to His love for me. Don’t let the devil keep you in bondage to your past. One powerful step you can take to close that door is to forgive those who hurt you. Trust me, when you start looking up scriptures about overcoming hurt, declaring them over your life, and praying the prayer above, that’s when you begin to win the battle in your mind.
How Do You Love Again After Being Hurt?
You might be asking yourself, How do I love again after enduring so much pain?
Her Treasured Love is a book that will help you overcome the hurt you’ve endured, allowing you to experience God's healing love. It will help you see yourself the way God sees you, drawing you closer into a deeper relationship with Him. As you feel His love, you'll gain the courage to embrace the one He sends your way—someone you might have rejected had you not allowed Him to heal your heart.
God consistently brings me healing through the stories He inspires me to write. Writing this book forced me to step outside my comfort zone, sharing painful experiences I would have preferred to keep hidden—all to bring healing to others and glory to His name.
Remember, the battle starts and ends in your mind.
Here are a few Scriptures to Heal from Past Hurt that you can use when the enemy attacks your mind.
“The Lord is near unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” – John 14:26
If you’re ready to start your healing journey, Her Treasured Love is available to help guide you. Embrace God’s love and discover how you can begin to heal from your past hurt and step into the future He has for you.
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