This was the heartfelt question one of my email subscribers asked:
"Your emails bring a smile to my face, knowing I have someone to talk to besides God about my struggles. Just this morning, I decided to trust God again with my addiction. The problem is the fear of relapse. This isn’t the first, or even the second time, I’ve tried to overcome this. Every time I think I’m making progress, temptation pulls me back. It feels like I’m in a loophole: strong and firm in faith one day, but falling back the next. My failures just keep stacking up. My question is: How can I get out of this loophole?"
I initially tried responding to her in an email, but as I wrote, I realized the response was too detailed. With her permission, I decided to address her question through a blog post so that others who struggle with similar challenges could benefit as well.
Is It Possible to Break an Addiction?
Yes, it’s possible. But before I dive into how, let me share my personal story of addiction, struggle, and freedom.
Where Did It All Start?
As a child, I loved to read. We didn’t have a television, so books became my world. I read anything I could find, from encyclopedias to random novels lying around the house.
One day, as a teenager, I stumbled upon a book in my shared bedroom. Out of curiosity, I picked it up and started reading. It was a Penthouse Forum. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that moment opened a door to something that would hold me captive for years: addiction to masturbation.
The Struggle and Guilt
Even before I fully understood what I was doing, I felt guilt every time I gave in to the urge. My conscience told me it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop. To make matters worse, I later came across an article written by a doctor claiming that masturbation was healthy and normal. This confused me even more.
But despite what the article said, my heart wouldn’t let me feel at peace. The guilt and shame lingered every time I gave in. (This is one of the ways Satan tries to plant lies and deception in our lives, while the Holy Spirit is trying to bring God’s truth to us).
This was what led me to always pray every time I engaged in the act, but right after I prayed, the urge would come, and I would falter. I felt discouraged, as if God was ignoring my prayers or that He wasn’t hearing me.
Why is it hard to get out of an addiction?
When I got older, I think in my late twenties, I went to the back of my house one night and, in desperation, asked God why I wasn’t able to overcome the addiction to something I hated doing. I guess I was finally asking the right question because He answered. (So maybe we need to stop asking God to just help us and instead ask Him to show us how to deal with whatever it is we are struggling with.)
God’s answer to my question was simply Romans 12:2, and it hit me like a light bulb. I mean, I understood what He meant, and that was the beginning of me walking away from that addiction.
I had to renew my mind first.
But there’s a reason the Bible says to resist the devil, and he will flee. Being set free from something doesn’t mean it stops there. The devil will come to test you, to see if you truly recognize that you are free and if you will resist him. Although it had been a couple of years since I stopped that addiction and I had even forgotten I used to do it, I found that the urge would suddenly pop up, maybe once every six months. And, like my subscriber said, “One day I’m strong and firm in faith, obeying God, but the moment I think I’m good, the temptations come rushing in, making me fall back again as if I have not received salvation at all.” I now found myself faltering, just like her.
This kept happening for a while. The on-and-off occurrences of that act, which I would succumb to, made me wonder if it was possible to truly be free of it—or if it even truly was a sin since the word "masturbation" isn’t mentioned in the Bible.
I started searching the internet for every post written about masturbation to truly understand where I stood. I found posts that were against it and others claiming that if you could free your mind of lust—based on what Jesus mentioned in Matthew 5:27-28—then it was okay to do it. Some argued it was God’s way of keeping us from committing acts of adultery or fornication. This almost brought me to a place of acceptance.
Almost a year ago, I lost someone I was dating; he just up and disappeared. This was after losing my husband nine years earlier, only two months into our marriage. That experience led me to write A Shattered Life Restored, where the main character, Meg, struggles with feeling cursed while dealing with grief. At that time, I really felt cursed—and I was.
It was when I decided to go on a 21-day fast and prayer for marriage that so many things were revealed to me, including everything I needed to break free from that addiction for good. If you’re still reading and ready to break free from whatever addiction you’re struggling with, you’re about to get all the details you need to conquer yours too.
I like to keep a journal and record every dream and experience I have while fasting. This habit helped me write the post How to Fight Your Spiritual Enemies.
Four days into that fasting and prayer, I had a vision. I saw a strongman—a demonic entity—confess to me that everything that had happened in my life was his doing. When I woke up, I was scared for a couple of hours. I wondered what door I had opened to let him in. But one thing I was sure of—I was happy to finally know there was someone behind all my misfortunes.
I kept up my fasting and prayers. About two days later, I came across a video on YouTube about the altars of prayer. It helped me understand why that addiction kept coming back into my life.
Here’s what I mean.
In the video, the minister said, “We build altars from the things we do continuously, and whether those things are good or bad will determine if they attract angels or demons.” Hearing this made me think back to that addiction. I realized I had built an altar through my repeated actions, which attracted demons of sexual perversion. These demons had shown up in my dreams as well, including the one who confessed to being behind my troubles. (To anyone who dreams of having sex with someone in their sleep, know this: It’s a bad dream. Those people you see are sexual demons who use the act of sex to claim you as their spouse. This is why many people struggle to get married or face trouble in their marriages.)
When I started learning about spiritual warfare and sexual demons, I would pray midnight warfare prayers I got from my church. When I went to bed, I would see myself defeating these demons when they showed up. But what puzzled me was why, after months, they would pop back up in my dreams.
It was when I learned about altars that I understood. Even though I prayed and expelled demons from my life, the altar was still standing. Each time I gave in to the desire to masturbate, even after being delivered, I gave those demons legal ground to return.
This is why you hear about people overcoming an addiction only to fall back into it years later. The altar is still fighting them. As long as it stands, it will keep calling back those demons.
The altar must be destroyed, and you can only destroy it by fire.
Deuteronomy 7:5 commands us to destroy all evil altars with fire: “But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire.”
That night, I prayed the minister's prayers to destroy the altars with fire. I named every altar I could think of—those fighting my marriage, success, and life—and prayed for God’s fire to consume them.
For the next three or four days, the devil fought hard, bringing the desire stronger than ever. But I clung to 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 as my weapon: “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defiles the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”
Every time the spirit of masturbation came, I reminded myself of how much I had suffered and lost because of it.
What is a moment of pleasure worth to a lifetime of bondage?
I declared, “My body is the temple of God, and I will not defile it.” I prayed for God to destroy every spirit that wanted to defile His temple and covered myself in the blood of Jesus. . If you don't know how to use the blood of Jesus in your life, I wrote a post some time ago when God showed me how to. You can read that post here.
The following week, the devil tested me again for another two or three days, but I was determined not to give any part of my life to him. That was when he left for good.
Here are 7 tips on how to break an addiction permanently
1. Repent of all your sins before God.
2. Renew your mind just as the Lord told me to do.
3. Sit down and make a list of everything you may have used or done to build up altars in your life, allowing demons to have control over your life.
4. Renounce every association with those demons and command them to leave your life in Jesus' name.
5. Then use the prayer I wrote below inserting those things the demons caused you to be addicted to into the prayer and begin to pray over your life to begin to destroy those altars.
6. Then make sure you have your scriptures ready to use when temptation comes.
7. Live a consecrated life unto God. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you walk upright before God.
How to Break Free from Addiction
Breaking free from any addiction requires more than prayer—it requires action. You need to arm yourself with your spiritual weapons of choice: Scriptures. Find verses that directly address what you're going through and stand firm in their truth.
YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR PART TO STAND AND RESIST THE DEVIL.
No matter the addiction—whether it’s sexual, drugs, alcohol, or anything else—remember this: your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. If you neglect to care for it, it becomes challenging for His Spirit to dwell within you. The promise of salvation is having God’s Spirit live in you, and He has given you power over the enemy. This means you have the strength to stand and resist.
Key Scriptures to Memorize:
1. Luke 10:19: "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you."
2. Romans 12:1-2: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
3. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17: "Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple."
A Word for Parents:
Be mindful of what you allow your children to see. One innocent act can open a dangerous door. I discovered this truth in my own life. During a three-day fast, I asked the Lord what had caused me to start struggling with masturbation. He revealed that it began when I read a certain book—a Penthouse novel—years ago. That one moment gave demons access to my life.
A Prayer to Destroy Altars:
"I declare that every altar speaking against my marriage, I tear them down now by fire in Jesus’ name. Altars of divorce—we tear you down by fire. Altars of barrenness—we tear you down by fire. Altars of infidelity—we tear you down by fire. Altars of short-temper or rage—we tear you down by fire. Altars of masturbation—we tear you down by fire. Altars of poverty—we tear you down by fire. Altars of prayerlessness—we tear you down by fire in Jesus’ name. We tear them down by fire, by fire, by fire, in Jesus’ name."
For anyone who feels like this: “My failures keep lining up in front of me”—know this:
God’s Word is your weapon.
1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Isaiah 43:25: "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins."
When the devil brings up your past to accuse and discourage you, remind him of this: if the God who created you has forgiven you and remembers your sins no more, the devil has no legal right to accuse you.
A Prayer to Cancel Accusations:
"In the name of Jesus, I destroy every evidence the accuser, the adversary, has against me and my family. I revoke all his rights to prosecute or accuse me in the court of law in Jesus’ name."
Please leave your comments about how this post impacted you. Confessing an addiction like masturbation isn’t something many women would admit to, but I know that to help others break free from what is destroying them, I have to let go of the shame.
If you want to talk privately, feel free to send me an email.
A Personal Update
I originally wrote this post in 2019 on another blog, and I can confidently say that I am still victorious over that addiction. The enemy will still show up from time to time, but when you rebuke him, he will leave. You can be free from addiction if you truly desire to be.
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