This was the question one of my email subscribers asked in an email. I thought how best to respond to her and tried to in a response email. However, it turned out to be too much info to write in an email, so with her knowledge I wrote the response in this post, as I realized that others would benefit as well. So to my subscriber who gave me a reason to write this post, I thank you and hope that what I share will help not only you but other readers, to search through their lives and see where it all started in order to be able to break free from their own addictions.
This was what she wrote in her email.
“Your emails bring a smile to my face knowing that I have somehow someone to talk to besides God about my struggles. Just this morning I have decided to put my trust once again to God about my addiction. The problem that I have with it is the fear of relapse. I mean this was not the first nor the second time I have done this. Each and every time I do this or decide something big regarding my relationship with God thinking I’ve taken two steps forward, I always fall five steps back. Like as said from my first email, it’s like I’m in a loophole: one day I’m strong and firm in faith, obeying God but the moment I thought I’m good the temptations come rushing in making me fall back again like as if I have not received salvation at all. My failures keep lining up in front of me.
My question is: how can I get out from this loophole?”
Is it possible to break an addiction?
This is what many would and probably are asking themselves and for a time, even I did, when I struggled to overcome an addiction that started in my late teens. But in order for me to answer this I must share my own story, my struggles and how I found the answer.
Where did it all start for me?
When I was a child I loved to read, we didn’t have a television at that time and I would read everything, even encyclopedias. When I got to my teens, I found a book in the room I shared with a few relatives. It was the first time I ever saw that book but because I would read everything, I opened it and read it.
It was a Penthouse Forum and that was the beginning of my addiction.
I soon found myself caught up in the act of this addiction even without knowing what it was called. I remember it was one of my aunts I asked and she told me the name of it.
MASTURBATION
It was through this act that I began to know what God’s disapproval felt like to something I was doing. Every time I engaged in the act, I would feel such guilt afterwards; almost shameful, and all throughout the years I was addicted to it, that guilt and shame remained.
Then at the same time in those early years when I started masturbating and was struggling with the guilt of it, I accidentally stumbled upon a newspaper article written by a doctor. Here he was talking about how healthy it was and normal.
Imagine my confusion.
But no matter how acceptable he made it seem to be, my conscience would not give me that same assurance when I engaged in the act. (This is one of the ways Satan tries to plant lies and deception in our lives, while the Holy Spirit is trying to bring God’s truth to us).
This was what led me to always be praying every time I engaged in the act, but right after I prayed the urge would come and I would falter. I felt discouraged as if God was ignoring my prayers or that he wasn’t hearing me.
Why is it hard to get out of an addiction?
When I got older I think in my late twenties, I went to the back of my house one night, and in desperation I asked God why I wasn’t able to overcome the addiction to something I hated doing. I guess I was now asking the right question cause He answered. (So maybe we need to stop asking God to just help us, but instead, ask Him to show us how to deal with whatever it is we are struggling with)
God’s answer to my question was simply- Romans 12:2 and it hit me like a light bulb. I mean, I understood what He meant and that was the beginning of me walking away from that addiction.
I had to renew my mind first.
But there is a reason the bible says, resist the devil and he will flee. Being set free from something doesn’t mean it stops there. The devil will come to test you to see if you truly recognise that YOU are free from it and will resist him. Although now it had been a couple of years since I stopped that addiction, I had even forgotten I used to do it, I found that urge would suddenly pop up like once every 6 months or so and like my subscriber said, “one day I’m strong and firm in faith, obeying God but the moment I thought I’m good the temptations come rushing in making me fall back again like as if I have not received salvation at all,” I now found myself and like her, I faltered.
This kept on happening for a while, I mean this on and off occurrences of that act which I would succumb to. I suddenly began to wonder if it was possible to truly be free of it or if it truly was a sin, since the word masturbation was not mentioned in the Bible.
I started searching the internet for every post written about masturbation to truly know where I stand. I found posts that were against it and I found some that claimed that if you can free your mind of the lust, which Jesus mentioned in Matthew 5:27-28 then it’s okay to do it. That it was God’s way to keep us from committing acts of adultery and fornication etc. And this almost brought me to a place of acceptance of it.
Almost a year now I lost someone I was dating; he just opted and disappeared. This was after I lost my husband 9 years previous after only two months of marriage and what led me to write in the newest book—A Shattered Life Restored, about the main character Meg, feeling as if she was cursed and dealing with grief. I really felt I was cursed and I was.
It was when I decided to go on 21 days of fasting and prayers for marriage that so many things were revealed to me and where I got everything needed to break me free from that addiction for good. So if you are still reading and ready to break free from whatever addiction you struggle with, you are about to get all the details needed to conquer yours too.
I like to keep a journal and record every dream and experience that I have while fasting. It was how I was able to write the post: How to fight your spiritual enemies.
Four days into that fasting and prayers I had a vision, seeing a strongman or demonic entity who confessed to me that everything that had happened in my life was his doing. I was a little scared when I woke up and for a couple of hours, I wondered what door I had opened to cause him to come in. One thing for sure was that I was happy I now knew, that there was someone behind all my misfortunes.
I kept on doing my fasting prayers and about two days after that, I found a video on YouTube about the altars of prayer. It helped me make sense of why that addiction kept coming back in my life.
Here is what I mean.
In the video, the minister said, “We build altars from things we do continuously and whether those things were good or bad will decide whether they will attract angels or demons.” At this point, my mind went back to that addiction I had and I realized that I had built an altar, which was what attracted demons of sex and perversion. These used to show up in my dreams as well, including that one who confessed to being the cause of my troubles. (To anyone who still has dreams of seeing themselves having sex with anyone, know it’s a bad dream you are having and those persons you see are sexual demons who use the act of sex to claim you as their spouses. This is why many times you have trouble to get married or find trouble coming to your marriages if already married.)
When I started learning about spiritual warfare and about those sexual demons, I would pray at midnight the warfare prayers I got from my church, and when I went to bed, I would see myself defeating these demons when they showed up. But what puzzled me was why after months I would see them pop back up in my dreams. It was when I learned about altars that I now understood that even when I prayed and expel the demons from my life, the altar was still standing. That each time I gave in to the desire to masturbate even though I was delivered from it, I would cause a demon to return.
This is why you would see or hear of persons who would quit or overcome an addiction and years later they are back into it. The altar is still fighting them. As long as it stands, it will keep calling back those demons and when you give in then you now give that demon legal right to be in your life.
The altar must be destroyed and you can only destroy it by fire.
In Deuteronomy 7:5 God commands us to destroy all evil altars with fire. “But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire.”
That night I engaged the prayers I learned from the minister to destroy the altars with fire. Every altar I could think of that I had built up in my life that was fighting against me getting married or succeeding in life. It was here that the devil decided that he was going to fight me from closing that door to rid myself free of his stronghold.
For the next 3 or 4 days, he brought that desire stronger than I usually felt it—1 Corinthians 3:16-17 became my weapon against him. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defiles the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”
Every time the spirit of masturbation came, I stood my ground-thinking of how much I suffered and lost because I give in to this spirit.
What is a moment of pleasure worth to a lifetime of bondage?
I told him that my body is the temple of God and I will not defile it. I would ask God also to destroy every spirit that wanted me to defile his temple according to his word. I also covered myself in the Blood of Jesus. If you don't know how to use the blood of Jesus in your life, I wrote a post some time ago when God showed me how to. You can read that post here.
It is important that you hold on to the word and have resistance because the devil will return, as he did to me the following week for another 2 or 3 days testing me again, but I was determined not to give that part of my life to any devil. That was when he left for good.
Here are 7 tips on how to break an addiction permanently
Repent of all your sins before God.
Renew your mind just as the Lord told me to do.
Sit down and make a list of everything you may have used or done to build up altars in your life, allowing demons to have control over your life.
Renounce every association to those demons and command them to leave your life in Jesus name.
Then use the prayer I wrote below inserting those things the demons caused you to be addicted to into the prayer and begin to pray over your life to begin to destroy those altars.
Then make sure you have your scriptures ready to use when temptation comes.
Live a consecrated live unto God. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you walk upright before God.
The way in which you will break free from any addiction is not just praying for God to deliver you, but to be armed with your weapons of choice -meaning, find scriptures relating to what you are going through. YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR PART TOO TO STAND AND RESIST THE DEVIL.
See how big I wrote those words- it’s that important. No matter what addiction you have, sexual, drugs, alcohol etc. know that your body is where God’s spirit dwells and if you can’t take care of it, it’s hard for His spirit to stay in you. Remember the promise of salvation is having God’s Spirit dwell in you and He gave you power over the enemy, which means you have the strength to stand and resist.
Memorise-Luke 10:19, Romans 12:1-2 and 1 Corinthians 3:16-17
Also parents please be careful what you allow your kids to see as you see that one innocent act of me reading a book opened a door to masturbating demons in my life. (That was revealed to me a couple of years ago during 3 days of fasting when I asked the Lord what caused me to start doing it in the first place and he told me the penthouse book opened the door)
Prayer to destroy altars
“I declare that every altar that is speaking against my marriage, I tear them down now by fire in Jesus name. Altars of divorce-we tear you down by fire. Altars of barrenness-we tear you down by fire. Altars of infidelity-we tear you down by fire. Altars of short-temper or rage-we tear you down by fire. Altars of masturbation-we tear you down by fire. Altars of poverty- we tear you down by fire. Altars of prayerlessness- we tear you down by fire in Jesus name. We tear them down by fire, by fire, by fire in Jesus name.”
This is for my subscriber and anyone like her who feels this way, “My failures keep lining up in front of me.”
Just know what God says in his word when we repent and hold to them, they are your weapons. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” and Isaiah 43:25 says, “I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.”
So when the devil brings all those sins of your past to hold you back and keep you down, just remind him that if God who created you can forgive you and remember your sins no more, then he has no legal right to accuse you of them. Here is a prayer you can pray if you need help.
Prayer to cancel every accusation against you by Satan
In the name of Jesus, I destroy every evidence the accuser, the adversary as on me and my family and I revoke all his right to prosecute me or accuse me in the court of law in Jesus name.”
Please leave me your comments on how this post impacted you. Confessing that you were addicted to masturbation isn’t something many women would admit to, but for me to help anyone break free from what is destroying them, I have to let go of that shame. And send me your emails if you want to talk privately.
Just an update, I originally wrote this post in 2019 on my other blog and I can report that I am still victorious over that addiction. The enemy from times to time will still show up but if you rebuke him he will leave, so know that you can be free from an addiction if you want to.
Check out this short video snippet from my spiritual warfare Fiction book-The Path of the Chosen Warriors and subscribe to my channel for more book content to help you grow spiritually.